Nothing quite satisfies like a good dive bar. You can get wasted off your ass for dirt cheap, look like shit without a care in the world, and spy many more interesting characters than you would at any crappy club. Here we will rate and review our favorite dumpy watering holes in the Washington, DC and Northern Virginia area. The more cans of tasty Pabst Blue Ribbon you see, the more of a dive the bar is.

Feel free to print out a Dive Bar Profile and fill it out next time you visit your favorite dive, then send it to us and we'll post it if we're not passed out in puddles of our own vomit. Or just post your favorites in the Dive Bar Forum. If they are local, we will gladly investigate!

Dan's Cafe - 2315 18th St NW, Washington, DC 20009
An Adams Morgan classic where you can mix your own drinks.
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Jimmy's Old Town Tavern - 697 Spring St, Herndon, VA 20170
A good locals bar where stupid fun is the norm and you can get a free nicotine buzz from breathing the air.
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John's Place - 11104 Lee Hwy, Fairfax, VA 22030
John's Place claims to be the oldest bar in Fairfax and it sure looks like it. This dive has it all, from Pabst on ice to a rooftop deck built on an aging strip mall.
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Mighty Mike's - 22330 S Sterling Blvd, Sterling, VA 20164
A bar that will make you question "Am I really in Northern Viriginia?"
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Millie & Al's - 2440 18th St NW, Washington, DC 20009
Come here for the jello shots. Only $1 when the giant light bulb is lit!
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Palace of Wonders - 1210 H St NE, Washington, DC 20002
A sideshow themed bar housing many of the relics from the American Dime Museum and featuring great burlesque and variety shows.
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Patriot's Cafe - 10376 Lee Highway, Fairfax, VA 22030
If listening to people attempt to sing to 80s tunes is your idea of a good time, then this Karaoke bar is for you.
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Sunset Grille - 7250 Columbia Pike, Annandale, VA 22003
"The Inland Beach Bar" they say. Tacky tiki decor, Karaoke on Tuesdays, and local bands. Submitted by Dave.
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Vienna Inn - 120 Maple Ave E, Vienna, VA 22180
Cheap beer and chili dogs. Need we say more? Easy access to the W&OD so you can bike your drunk ass home.
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Upcoming Reviews*

Other dive bars we've been to and hope to revisit and review soon.

• JV's Restaurant, 6666 Arlington Blvd, Falls Church, VA 22042 - Old Man Bar
• Steakmasters, 7518 Linton Hall Rd, Gainesville, VA 20155 - Redneck Karaoke
• Rock It Grill, 1319 King St, Alexandria, VA 22314 - Karaoke Dive

*That we'll likely never get around to because we're now old and lame.

In Memorium

These dive bars are gone but not forgotten. They have fallen victim to the wrecking ball so that more high-rises can be built and sold to assholes who are just going to make the traffic around here worse.

• Joseph's Bar & Grill, 2403 Wilson Blvd, Arlington, VA 22201
• Bardo Rodeo / Dr. Dremo's, 2001 Clarendon Blvd, Arlington, VA 22201

Half Price Wine Nights in Northern Virginia

Did we mention that we're also a bunch of winos? Here is a list of places in Northern Virginia where you can get your wine buzz for cheap.

• Clyde's - Clyde's of Reston on Sunday and Clyde's Willow Creek Farm on Monday.
• Luciano Italian Restaurant & Pizzeria, Herndon - Mondays
• Cheap Vino: A Guide to Half-Price-Wine Nights in Washington

User Submitted Dive Bars

Time Served - RR 22, Comstock, NY 12821

Time Served, "The little house across from the big house." It's a great place to get your drink on, grab some damn good food, and shoot some pool while convicts are being shot at! It's conveniently located across the road from the MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON Comstock, AKA Great Meadow, in Comstock, New York. Call (518) 639-8329 for directions. When you're sitting outside, you can hear the tower officers firing their guns and smell when they drop gas in the prisoners' yard when the shit hits the fan! Great time! -Rich