Truth be told, he is none too experienced either.

On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring:

"My darring" he says, "I know dis yo firt time and you berry flighten. I plomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting you want, you say. What you want?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I want ..... numba 69"

More thoughtful silence, this time from him.

Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries ... "You want ... Beef wif Broccori?"

Submitted by Neil Hobbs-Fernie